


Drapetomania

by Ingi



Series: I’ll let you know that all this time I’ve been afraid [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Enemies to Friends, Erejean Week, Erejean Week 2015, French-Speaking Jean Kirstein, M/M, Pre-Slash, Road Trip, awkward dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:28:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3486554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ingi/pseuds/Ingi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~ Drapetomania: an overwhelming urge to run away. ~</p><p>Eren needs to escape.</p><p>From Jean, from his stupidly confusing feelings for him, and from everybody telling him 'you could get along'. But especially from that little voice in his head, singing in a disgustingly hopeful tone 'he could understand you'.</p><p>Eren needs to escape, so he does. But Jean follows.</p><p>(#more like 'out of the walls' trip; #Eren is shit figuring out his own feelings; #Jean is shit acting on his own feelings; #Marco is the biggest Erejean shipper; #Poor Armin just wants everybody to get along; #Features them both giving Eren a 'Jean 101' class)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drapetomania

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this is going to, honestly. But I do know where it came from: Erejean Week! Be a doll and spread it around (or even better, join).  
> I'm not really happy with the result (I'm shit writing Eren, and I didn't manage to show Jean the right way, or their dynamic), and I somehow made a weird AU in which Marco's alive, Levi is in charge of the squad (kinda?), and everybody knows Eren's a titan (also, I never name Krista or Historia or Annie, who knows why). Trainee days but not really. Dunno how I've done it or what I'll do after with it.
> 
> The song lyrics in here are from "Every night", by Imagine Dragons.
> 
> PS. Happy birthday, Eren!

_I’m the colorless sunrise_  
_that’s never good enough._  
_I’m the wind that’s in your head,_  
_it ruffles you up._  
_You could find the reason._  
_You could let me know._  
_I won’t blame you,_  
_I’ll just turn and go._

Everything started with an open window.

When he thought about it, Eren realised with no real surprise he could pinpoint the exact moment in which he had _known_ , and that was it. An open window, a frozen Sunday morning of late autumn.  
The only window in the cabin was usually closed shut, since the cadets never managed to find an agreement in whatever it should be opened or not, and in case it should, how much and when and for how long... there were too many variables, and a bunch of young men forced to share the same room weren't the best solvers of problems; chaos usually ensued when testosterone was involved, like Mikasa said, so they settled for an intermediate position, which was boiling in their own charged atmosphere all day until Levi stepped in and went berserker about room ventilation or something.  
But that morning, the window was wide open, the curtains fluttering softly at the cold wind that was blowing, and that was more or less what woke Eren up. Except that not really. Only a Titan attack could drag Eren out of his Titan-killing dreams, and that was only because the original was always better, but the shouts that suddenly rose in the room like a compenetrated chorus of indignation were as scary as a Titan, if not even more, so Eren's survival instinct (he did seem to have one, no matter what everyone said) worked against the boy's nature to wake him up.

"Godammit, who the hell opened the window?!" rang a way too familiar voice.

"Breathe, Jean" Armin asked softly, but his words had a trembling quality to them that suggested he was either more enraged than he let on or shivering because of the low temperature.

"I'd love to, but I'd die of an instant cold!"

"As much as I regret fueling Jean's drama queen act" Reiner butted in with his usual calmness, "I don't appreciate freezing either, so I'm afraid I'm with him on this."

"Less talking, more getting up and closing the window" Connie sing-sang, followed by an indefinible sigh which was likely shared between at least three of the awake recruits.

That was the very moment Eren decided to roll over to lay on his back and open a tentative eye, and the first thing he saw was Jean. He was right in front of him, sitting on his bunk and looking absolutely pissed (even more than usual). There were black shadows under his eyes, but the soft morning light that came in from the window drew golden hues out of his iris. Another beam of light illuminated his hair like an halo, showering it in a fair glow that made it look blonder than it usually was. When he teared his gaze away from the window and turned to raise a brow at Connie instead, Eren found he had been holding his breath. For some brief moments, Jean had looked every bit of the handsome charming man he knew he wasn't, instead of the annoying asshole he knew he was.

"What are you waiting for?" he finally asked while he rubbed his eyes, still a bit disturbed by the vision, although he was kind of dragging the words so it should had sounded a lot more like 'wabt abdu beibin bo'.

Jean apparently understood, though, since he turned his head towards him and glared. Eren decided to take it as a 'good morning'. "The floor is cold, jackass."

"So what? Don't be a baby."

"Easy to say when you're a frickin' Titan shifter, you blood practically boils!"

"Don't start this soon in the morning, guys" a heaven-sent voice interrupted. Oh, maybe not. Marco's brown fluffy hair peeked out of Jean's upper bunk just barely, and soon after, his whole face, tired and grim. "Good morning to you too, Jean, Eren."

"Good morning, Marco" Connie chipped, and was joined by Reiner and Armin by the second. Jean's welcome was looking just a tiny bit less pissed off, and Eren's was... well, nothing really, he was actually about to fall asleep again and of course not trying to forget the way his own mind had supplied 'confidences night' at the sight of Jean and Marco, and he was not damn fuming just because of that, he was not, who cared if the horseface idiot had one friend, if it hadn't been for Marco's overall niceness he would have never gotten even one (who cared he actually seemed to be friends with Connie, and Sasha, and Armin, and... hell, that was it, Eren was done discussing with himself), he was annoying like that, so Eren didn't have to mind him, he himself was lucky to have a lot of friends, wasn't he?

"Bertolt's still sleeping?" Armin finally got down the bunk and closed the window without any more fuss, and Eren felt a sudden rush of affection. He remembered him tiptoeing all the way to his bedroom, always trying to be the less of a bother as possible even if Eren's mother was pretty much his too and she was so used to the boy's presence in her house it was like he lived there too.

"He is" Reiner jumped out of the bunk and stared down at his friend's face for a moment with something akin to fondness too, and Eren wondered briefly, not for the first time, what would happen _if_ (not when, never when) one of them died. Everyone had bonds there, some way or another, everyone would be fiercely missed by someone. The thought was overwhelming and too deep for any normal day, even more so for early morning, so Eren let it slip away.

"Lucky guy" he heard Jean muttering, but no one paid attention.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I since I'm already awake, I'll be going to breakfast" Connie added after a pause. There were some hums of agreement and people started moving and making noise. Eren turned away, facing the wall, and closed his eyes. He was already drifting away, mindless chatter further and further every time as his friends walked out of the cabins, when he noticed a person standing right in front of his bed. It was almost a physical feeling, hairs on end and a shudder that was half pleasing and half alarming. He was suddenly completely awake again, and barely able to keep himself from getting his eyes wide open at the second. All his senses appeared to be enhanced, he could hear a calm breathing and even catch a hint of some kind of scent he knew he had smelled before but couldn't remember when or what it was.

"Jäeger."

A shiver ran down his spine at the annoyed (and annoying) voice of Jean Kirstein. And just like that, keeping still was on top of Eren's order of priorities.

"Jäeger, I'm giving you one last chance to get your ass out of bed before I kick you out."

There it was, Jean was no doubt clenching his jaw by that point, Eren could feel it in the tension that hung in the air, and for a moment he was positive he was actually going to be kicked to the floor (wouldn't have been the worst they had done each other, after all), but he wasn't, and then Jean was inhaling sharply and letting out an exasperated sigh, and Eren knew he was safe. " _Fuck_." The word was so filled with anger and spite it startled him, and yet he didn't dare to move.

"I should definitely let you freeze to death" Jean added, but this was more in a resigned fashion than anything. After a second, Eren felt an extra blanket being carelessly tossed on him, right before the sound of footsteps started. It took him a while to react; he did long after, when he couldn't sense Jean's presence anymore and the footsteps had completely faded, and was so dumbstruck he couldn't focus in one thing and was constantly jumping from 'Jean's so weird why does he even care' to 'why the fuck was he so angry and what did I even do'.  The only thing he didn't wonder was why he was so riled up by the idea of Jean being angry at him for no reason (because that was not the usual bother, that was downright rage, maybe even loathing, oh Wall Maria).

He dragged himself out of bed and walked past the corridors as slowly as it was humanly possible, paying no mind to the whispers his presence rose. People also stopped eating to look at him when he pushed the hall doors open, but maybe that had something to do with the terrible mess his hair was and the way his frown always deepened in the mornings. He scanned the crowd, quickly spotting Armin and Mikasa, and all but threw himself into their arms.

"Ugh" he sputtered as he dropped on his seat like a dead weight.

His sister shook her head kindly, the softest of the smiles in her lips, and Eren couldn't help but notice how her red scarf made her porcelain pale face stand out even more and brought a special light out of her eyes. There was something in late autumn or early winter that made everybody so very beautiful: Mikasa with her faraway beauty, Armin with his childlike look, Jean with that stupid handsomeness that shone like the fucking Sun... and then he, Eren, was all red ears and stuffed nose and had the attractive of a drunk moose.

"Jean was looking ridiculously good this morning."

 _Fuck_. That totally wasn't what he intended to say. Armin's eyes were wider than Sasha's when someone offered her their leftovers, and Mikasa looked vaguely amused.

"I mean, for being a total butthead who must have slept like three hours because he was too busy sharing little whispers with Marco like a damn kid. So yeah."

"Do you realise you are running out of ways of complaining about Jean?" Armin raised a brow, apparently enjoying himself very much once he had overcame the first shock, and gave him a plate full of food as an offer of peace.

"He also tosses in his sleep. A lot" Eren pointed out. "And snores."

"That's Bertolt. And Connie does that noise that sounds like a whimper. _You_ shout in your sleep sometimes. Jean doesn't have the most annoying sleeping habits by any means, Eren."

So his breakfast wasn't an offer of peace at all, it was more like a consolation prize. He should have known. You just can't argue with Armin. Eren snorted to cover up his absolute lack of arguments and continued devouring his food, but Mikasa suddenly decided to ally against him.

"Why are you so bothered by Jean and Marco's friendship anyway?"

"I am not" he complained weakly, but for the look his two best friends exchanged, he knew they _knew_. He was oh so fucked.

"If you want so much to be Jean's friend, why don't you stop antagonizing him, for starters? He's actually a nice guy once you get to know him. I'm sure you'd be surprised to find out how much you two are actually alike. He reminds me of you sometimes."

"Armin, I really, really don't wanna be friends with Jean. Why would I? And I specially don't want to stop fighting with him, that's the only thing he's barely useful for."

"Armin has bad news for you, then" Mikasa replied sternly, and stared at said boy in a way Eren couldn't decipher because it was in some kind of secret language they had grown for themselves. It was pretty disturbing, really.

"The Commander wants you in his office" Armin quickly burst out. "I've heard some rumours he's sending you and Jean as scouts in a experimental mission out there, but you can never quite know with Commander Smith. If it's true, though, you'll be sticking with the one person you 'really, _really_ don't wanna be friends with' for a while, and with no time or possibility to fight him either."

The first thought in Eren's head was 'hell no'; the second, something among the lines of 'oh why this is just my fucking luck why him why me'; the third, possibly 'I don't _want to want_ to be alone with him'. And then everything tangled in one whole messy knot and the only thing he could take out of that was the terrifying realization he actually didn't dread the idea of being alone with Jean. The pure fear must have shown in his face, for Mikasa patted softly his arm and Armin vaguely encouraged him to finish his breakfast, but Eren's attention was already elsewhere.  Concretely, not so far away, in the table where most of their squad was sitting and a specially irritating person was joking with Sasha and Connie. Eren found himself being mesmerized by the way Jean tilted his head backwards when he laughed, and even if he quickly looked away before he was caught, he was still disgusted by his own hurtful and ridiculous thoughts of 'he never laughs like that when I'm near'.

"Eren?" Armin called candidly, squeezing his shoulder, and flinched when Eren turned his head sharply.

"Well, bad luck, Commander Smith. Fucking Kirstein doesn't trust me, he can't simply put us together and hope for the best." He couldn't keep bitterness completely away from his words, though, and that only troubled him more. That was it, what annoyed him so much: Jean didn't trust him, even if he definitely was one of the most loyal people in the damn Survey Corps, that was all.

"Perhaps that's what he wants, for you to earn Jean's trust and for Jean to earn yours" he suggested, shrugging, and pushed his own plate away. "Your constant bickering is causing even more friction in the squad and that's not good for anyone."

"That's true, Eren" Mikasa interrupted before he had the chance to defend himself. "We'll depend on one another out there. We can't allow ourselves to have any enemies apart from the Titans, so you'll better patch things up with Kirstein. Now better go the Commander's office before Captain Levi finds out you're still here."

"Jean's there..." he started, pointing out at him, but Armin shook his head and prodged him to make him stand up.

"You have to arrive before he does. Commander Smith wanted to talk to you first."

"Fine, you two keep waiting oh so calmly while I walk to my death."

But he stood up anyway and walked away, not before giving them a deadly stare that was completely ignored and looking over his shoulder for Jean again, which was a silly thing to do but also an inevitable one. He still seemed to be relaxed, comfortable, and from that faraway he even could have been confused with the nice person Armin claimed he was. There was only so much Eren could lie to himself before starting to seriously consider maybe Jean wasn't _that_ bad, at least not when he was talking with someone who wasn't him, because somehow he brought out the worst in people. Except that he had been told to be inspiring and a pretty good man to look up to, so no doubt the problem was Jean's; he was a damn special snowflake and had to go against everyone else, didn't he?

He was full of expectative by when he reached the Commander's office, and that was usually a good enough excuse to enter without knocking, so he did just that. Erwin Smith didn't seem to mind, though, taking in account the brief welcoming smile that graced his features. He must have been used to that kind of indiscipline, since Captain Levi had no limits on that regard and nowadays you could barely find one without the other.

"Commander" he saluted, anxiously eyeing the bunch of papers laying on the table in search of anything that could be related with the objective of that meeting and, more importantly, how it involved Jean and him.

"Eren." The Commander gestured over a chair next to his desk "Please take a seat."

"No, thank you, Commander" he replied, as formally as it was physically possible for him. "I'm fine. What'd you call me?"

Erwin laid back on his own chair, unperturbable, and scrutinized him carefully without bothering to hide he was doing it. Eren couldn't be sure if he was reafirming his resolution or taking it at that very moment, but after a while, right before he started tapping his feet on the floor out of irrepressible nervousness, the Commander leant forward and met his eyes. "First of all, I'll let you know this is extremely unorthodox, but I'm already known for that, aren't I?" he smiled slightly, as if appreciating a private joke, and continued with his usual stern resolve. "It has reached my ears that you are having some problems with Jean Kirstein."

" _He_ is the problematic one. Ask anyone, they'll tell you how brash and arrogant he is anytime!"

"Eren, I am not here to apportion the blame; even if he has indeed had some problems with his companions, it's getting better, something that unfortunately can't be said for your relationship. Both of you have similar personalities and yet you crash, when you could work more efficiently together than the great majority of our recruits. What I intend to do is fix that. You're about to graduate and I can't afford having you together in the same squad, probably not even in the same building; there's a great risk you end up involuntary getting someone killed, and I don't believe in risks for nothing. Do you understand that?"

What Eren did understand was the Commander was under the impression he could make things work in a certain way which, he was sure, he wasn't going to like at all. What Eren did understand was the Commander was expecting something from him, but he had no idea of what it was. So he reacted the only way he knew how to: speaking his mind.

"But Kirstein's not even going to apply for the Survey Corps, he's going for the Military Police! There's no way we could get anyone in an accident!"

Verbalizing himself what Jean had already said so many times was somehow much worse. Before, he had felt nothing else but a fierce rage, outraged by the thought of someone being coward enough to choose the easy way, the one who would help nobody but oneself. But right then, as words spilled out of his mouth, his chest was bubbling with something that was too similar to despair. Jean was going away, Jean was going into the false safety of the walls and forgetting him, forgetting everybody, instead of being there and offering himself as Eren's outlet of fury, and behaving like a cocky brat to everybody, and being so stupidly pessimist they all felt the need to work extra hard to prove him wrong.  
Jean was leaving before Eren'd had the chance to fully understand what the hell was going on into his head and maybe, just maybe, find out he wasn't like he seemed to be at all, that he was someone much easier to get along with. But wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose of Jean's existence, namely, being a pain in the ass? Wouldn't that rob him of all the he-didn't-know-what that gave Eren tingles in his whole being, as if a higher power were telling him 'he could understand you'? Eren very much prefered to remember him like that, presumptuous, proud and egotistical like he was, not the kind but plain person he could probably get to be and which Eren could find anywhere.

Commander Smith was nothing if not a perceptive person, and only teared his gaze away from Eren when he apparently couldn't read anymore out of him. "Listen, Eren, one of your biggest flaws is you never bother to reach further. You believe you're seeing something in a simple way when in fact you're just digging the surface, and that's _not_ the same. Life's not all black and white, and you have to see all the shades to properly know how to simplify it well. What you do is take the first impression you get and hold it tight, and nothing is ever accurately what is seems."

Eren stared blankly at him, processing his words in his mind and then doing it a few more times, just in case the Commander meant he thought far too little; it wouldn't be the first time someone implied that. Erwin sighed quietly and shook his head "You can't only worry about what will happen when you graduate. To begin with, you don't know what could happen in between. It might be something crucial, it might be something minor, it might be nothing. But you have to be prepared. I have assigned Jean and you a scouting mission outside the walls; you'll be the advance party for a plan you're not allowed to know yet, but that will be vital for the Legion, so please take it seriously."

"Just him and I?" Eren asked shakily, to his chagrin.

"For the moment been, yes. Kirstein will be in charge of the investigation process and you will make sure he stays safe while it. Usually, we would have sent a bigger party, but as you know, we're short on cadets, and I am sure you by yourself will be more efficient with less effort than them either way. The equipment should already be in your cabin, and I will give further instructions to Kirstein, so please tell him to come as soon as you find him."

"Commander..." he started, not really sure of why he wanted so much to get out of that stupid mission; it wasn't the worst idea that Commander Smith could have had, but the dead weight on his chest that made breathing an almost impossible task said otherwise.

"You may leave now" Erwin replied, returning to his paperwork, and Eren knew enough about how the Legion worked to understand that wasn't a suggestion as much as his cue to leave.

So leaving he did. Breakfast time was already over, but on Sundays the recruits usually stayed for a while doing nothing else but chatting mindlessly, so he headed there anyway. As he expected, the dining hall was still packed, except for some minor changes that had been made for the sake of convenience and that, unfortunately for him, included Mikasa and Armin shifting tables to be sitting with the rest of the squad. Which meant a lot of people he got along with, and then Jean. Eren had never been that glad before to be used as a messenger.

"Get up, Horseface, the Commander wants to talk with you. And let me give you an advance: you're not gonna like it."

All the conversations going back and forth around the table were abruptly interrupted, probably waiting for the inevitable violent response for Jean's part, but there wasn't such a thing. He simply looked up at Eren for a moment, raised a brow in a distant and quite elegant manner, and left his seat empty for him.

"I wonder what in Wall Rose have you shithead blamed me for today." The actual sulky tone of his voice let on that Armin had already informed him someway or another of what was going on, and for how his friend looked slightly embarrassed and even more uncomfortable, he hadn't taken it very well.

"Don't be an idiot or the Commander will kick you out of the Legion!" Connie called cheerfully, and Jean turned to narrow his eyes at him in a rather threatening fashion before walking out of the room. Almost immediately, the silence was broken, but Eren had no interest in any conversations apart from the one Armin and Marco seemed to be having in a pretty quiet voice, even if he was the only one near (apart from Mikasa, who was conveniently busy twirling a lost thread of her scarf around her finger while staring at the nothingness), so he had to suppose they didn't want him finding out. That only made him feel the overpowering need to absolutely do so.

"I don't think it has worked at all" his friend was muttering right then, with a worried look, while Eren sat on Jean's old seat. "You heard him. He said, quote unquote, 'fuck off, I'll do the hell I want'."

Marco placed a kind hand on his arm and squeezed it encouragingly, leaning onto him. "Don't worry, that's Jean's default reaction for anything that catches him out of guard. I'm sure he'll think about it and, if we're lucky, we'll even manage to get our point across in that stubborn mind of his."

"I don't know..." Armin still didn't look convinced, but his gaze casually found Eren's face, which no doubt showed his eagerness at trying to understand what he was hearing, and immediately stopped talking. Marco turned to stare at him too, and Eren quickly averted his eyes. His friends weren't going to give him a rest, though.

"Eren, what has the Commander told you?" the latter asked, and since Marco was cool enough when he was not near Jean, he decided to give a honest answer.

"He's sending me outside the walls to babysit Kirstein."

He wasn't sure if the shocked faces were because of how effectively he had schooled his face into showing all the rightful indignation he felt, or because of the sentence itself. He didn't have time to find out, though. Armin and Marco exchanged a look (everybody seemed to be doing that a lot lately) and reached an unspoken agreement, before settling for whatever tactic they thought was better to convince Eren of something. He had known at least Armin long enough to recognize the signs.

"So the Commander indeed wants you two to get along."

"Wait, I'll say it once more: I have to babysit Horseface while he does some weird experiments or something." Although they had understood perfectly what Erwin had asked from him, Eren wasn't willing to let them know that. "It's not a fucking trust exercise."

"Eren, even if the mission is real, you two aren't the ideal recruits for it. I don't want to dismiss Jean's abilities, but if Commander Smith had wanted an explorer or a researcher, he would have probably sent Mikasa or... me. And for the protection part, you aren't the best suited either; if I were Erwin, I'd send along someone more... stable, like Bertolt. I think the Commander is just killing two birds with one stone."

"I agree with Armin" Marco intervened. "The Commander clearly hopes you two bond."

"Well, he can keep hoping, because that's all he'll get!" Eren yelled, waving his arms in exasperation and gaining a slight kick from Mikasa for the trouble. "Jean doesn't fucking want to have anything to do with me!"

And there it was, that exchange of looks again, and that time Marco and Armin had a frighteningly determined shade in their eyes that made Eren bolt in his seat. Half of the table had turned towards them too, and Reiner gave them a questioning look, but nobody dared to comment. It took a while for their companions to return to their own business, and by then Eren was seriously considering punching some of his so-called friends, but Marco was faster.

"Jean doesn't hate you, if that's what you are implying. He actually respects you and even admires you... not that he'd told me" his smile was a bit mischievous at that point. "He's not that difficult to read once you get the hang of it. And that's what I'm going to teach you."

"No" was the best comeback Eren was able to get. It wasn't his fault, not at all, he was still too distracted by Marco's statements; it wasn't the first time he was told such a thing, but when it came to Jean, Marco was the most reliable source known yet: if he said Jean admired him, Jean probably did.

"Come on, Eren, we did the same with Jean!" Armin begged, and that caught Eren's attention.

"What the actual fuck? Did you give him a class about not to piss me off? I'm not that intratable, it's his damn fault for being an idiot! What was your advice, 'shut your mouth up' in general? Because that's the only thing that could work!"

"Well, right now you're not being the easiest person to deal with!" And for such a childlike looking person, Armin sure knew how to appear terrifying in a second. Eren recoiled as fast as posible and hung his head in a way he wished it was regretful enough. "What we told him doesn't matter, that's his to think about. But you should listen to what we have to say to _you_."

"Argh, just say it already." He very much wished that conversation to end, and that seemed to be the only way, so... so be it. "Alright, what do I have to do for Jean to stop being a jerk?"

"There's no way" Marco instantly replied, and Armin's eyes shot him daggers. "Jean is always going to be a jerk. That's just how he is. But he can be a _nice_ jerk. There are many sides of him you don't know yet. Well, not many people do anyway. He's kind of... difficult." The freckled boy had such an intense expression then, Eren actually found himself interested in what he was saying. He didn't have many opportunities to get into Jean's head, and it was like a siren call, too good to let it go. "He hasn't told me much about his past life, but it has affected him in a pretty deep way. Everybody knows he's distrusting and always expects the worst, but I don't think you've actually noticed _how much_. Here's what I think: he trusts you more than he trusts other comrades, so he would probably put his life in your hands if completely necessary, but he doesn't trust you in a _personal_ way; he would never give you enough power for you to hurt him. He probably wants to get closer, but he has to be cautious."

Marco's gestures gave away how he had his doubts too about what he was doing, for he eyed Eren warily, as if wondering how much to tell him. "I understand, at least that much. Everyone is scared of being bare in front of others, but for Jean it's like peeling away his own skin layer by layer; incredibly painful and risky." He sighed deeply while Armin bit his lip, and Eren was suddenly aware of how much his friends actually cared for Jean. He had underestimated the idiot's hability to inspire loyalty. "So my advice is: try to know him, but don't push him or you'll fuck it up very quickly. And please, don't" he added, managing to sound imploring and menacing at the same time.

"I'll... try" Eren answered honestly, since that was all he could promise for now. Maybe it was enough.

* * *

_Searching to find myself_  
_and all I find is you._  
_I could hardly stand myself._  
_So what am I to you?_  
_You could find a reason._  
_You could let me know._  
_I won’t blame you,_  
_I'll just turn and go._

The chance to be true to his promise presented itself sooner than expected. After three days of uncomfortable encounters with Jean, which were too brief to even bother trying to talk to him in a mildly friendly manner (that was Eren's excuse, anyway), the other boy conveniently cornered him in the middle of the corridor, right after breakfast. His face was contorted into a expression of sullen; however, it lacked strength and there wasn't any real indicator of a future fight, so Eren let him be and crossed his arms over his chest in a rather childish way, frowning over him.

"What is it, Horseface?"

Definitely not the best way to start his purpose of not fighting with him; but that was all he got, therefore Jean would have to go with it. It was the most welcoming he could get with him yet, and there was a possibility Jean considered it like that too.

"Fuck you." Apparently not. "I'm not here to argue with you, I..."

Eren was very much concerned by what would come next, and insulted Sasha's ancestors in at least a dozen ways when she interrupted him by popping out of who-knew-where and screaming "Kirstein, ever heard the concept of 'fair fight'?!", even if in any other situation he would have thanked her for her troubles. Luckily, Jean was not the type to back up when he wanted something, and simply yelled back "Didn't you hear me right a moment ago when I said _I am not picking up a fight_?!"

"Then stop shouting in my ear, asshole!" Eren replied in a high voice too, which was totally involuntary and of course wasn't meant as payback for Jean shattering his eardrums, not at all.

"Jeez, alright, tune it down." Jean raised his hands defensively and stepped back, leaving Eren space to breathe (and it was much needed, since being crowded against his not-so-old rival wasn't his favourite way to spend the afternoon; also, Jean's closeness was very distracting and that annoyed him to no end). "So, you have talked with the Commander, haven't you?"

"You know I have, I _told_ you."

He didn't mean that to come out in a mean way, but maybe it did, because Jean glared at him. Although Jean was always glaring at someone, it was one of his quirks. "I was trying to break the ice, idiot. We really have to talk about the mission, though."

"Jean!"

"Oh, for Wall Sina! The hell you want now?" he asked, without turning, but irradiating anger. Eren, from his privileged position, could tell it was no other than Marco, accompanied by Armin and Mikasa.

"Connie is arguing with Ymir in the hall, so I'll wait for you in the training grounds if you wanna come later."

If there was one thing Eren admired Marco for, it was his ability to answer so calmly, even after Jean snapped at him. Also, it seemed to be a source of endless amusement, since Jean looked at least slightly embarrassed for his behaviour and an embarrassed Jean was always funny to watch. "Oh" he let out, turning towards the little group. "Alright, but I don't know when I'm gonna be there. I have to..." he gazed at Eren briefly and then back at Marco.

"Yeah, do _the thing_ " Marco replied, smiling knowingly, and it only took that for Jean to get all sour again (but even more embarrassed; that was good).

"We're leaving now" Mikasa carefully offered, locking her eyes with Eren's so he knew she was just waiting for a sign to break Jean's legs. He nodded instead and watched as they walked away, wondering for a moment if they had lied about the whole Connie and Ymir argument to leave them alone, but he quickly dismissed the thought, as the discussion could be heard faintly through the hall doors.

"We should leave too."

Eren turned his head so fast he could feel the bones of his neck snapping. His body felt cold in the wrong places, sickness creeping up to him in no time as he panicked, because he wasn't ready, he wasn't, he couldn't afford being alone with Jean in the damn mission before testing if it was really possible to stop being at each other's throats, he just didn't want to return without Jean and having to explain how he turned into a Titan and ate him in a fit of rage; that was not a conversation he wanted to have with the Commander, he wasn't fucking ready. "Now?"

"Sure, I mean, to the cabin, or somewhere else we can discuss the mission." There he was, acting all proud and composed, while Eren dissolved into his useless building up. It made him want to punch him, and suddenly he was very conscious of why they couldn't get along, they just riled each other up even without meaning to. "Eren, fuck, listen!"

"I'm listening!" he jumped, even as his ears slowly turned red.

"No, you're not! You're just drifting away while I'm trying to talk to you. I knew this would be impossible, but the damn Commander insisted."

"I said I'm listening, arsehole! Keep talking or whatever" he offered dimissely, smiling slightly when Jean tilted his head to stare at him in a mixture of apprehension and interest.

"Move, then. We're blocking the corridor" he finally observed, shrugging, as he started walking away, apparently don't giving a shit if Eren was following or not. He was, although not without a murmur of "And who's fault is that?" that Jean, more probably than not, chose to ignore.

Surprisingly, a comfortable silence fell over them, and Eren watched carefully how his companion walked, his steps becoming shorter and slower and with a certain lightness to them the more they got away from the overly cheerful recruits that wandered around. He inspected the sharp curve of Jean's jawbone, mesmerized by how it visibly relaxed, as if he had been clenching his teeth before, and found himself adapting his breathing to his, straightening his back right while Jean eased his rigid posture, tuning himself to the other boy's body so they could match and reach a silent agreement, a carefully woven conexion.

He knew it couldn't last long, but was still achingly disappointed when they got to the cabin and it slowly faded into nothingness, both returning to their irksome usual selves. The severed threads remained there, though, judging by Jean's rare looseness and Eren's own sudden feeling of appeasement.

Jean sat on his bunk and cleared his throat quite awkwardly, shifting his position, but none seemed to be his cup of tea, since he got up again and started ruffling the papers which were under his bed instead, giving Eren ocasional sidelong gazes. It was unsure if he wanted to have him pinned down or if he simply felt suddenly self conscious, but Eren didn't mind either way. He stayed still in his place, arms crossed over his chest and waiting, even if he was starting to fill up with an itchy feeling.

"So" Jean finally said, sitting on his bed again with a few selected papers on his hand this time, and Wall Sina was a Titan lair if it wasn't some relief what Eren caught in his tone. "About the mission.  We'll leave in three days, I believe, maybe a bit more if the Commander gives in to Hanji constant pleas and lets her decide it's a great occasion to try some more creepy experiments on you while we're on it." He frowned, but Eren caught himself grinning for some mysterious reason (which definitely wasn't Hanji's experiments, usually painful and always disturbing). "I really hope not, though. We're going to a zone which is relatively empty of Titans, but you never know, and I'd prefer not to have to fight them while I have to deal with whatever pieces are left of you after the experiments."

"I don't know if you caught up, but _I_ will be the one fighting." There it was, Eren's limit on how long he could stay silent when such a good opportunity passed by. He put his best shit-eating grin in his face and directed it at his companion. "I'm babysitting you."

"You're going as a back-up, arsehole" Jean replied, althought the slightest of the smiles was curving the corners of his lips upwards. "Apparently I needed someone to get his ass kicked while I collected data, and they took the chance to get rid of your constant presence for a while."

"Babysitting" Eren insisted, not going to sit that one on.

"Yeah, okay, don't let the facts get in the way of your opinion, dumbass."

"I'd never" he nodded solemnly, and Jean chuckled, patting the spot next to him as an invitation for Eren to sit up. He did, and leant slightly on his shoulder, peeping the papers he was holding and concentrating in everything in the room but the firm heat that was Jean's side pressed against him. "Well, what are we exactly going to do?"

"Apart from becoming Titan carnage?" Eren thanked him for his pesimism by punching his leg in what he hoped was a friendly way, and Jean took revenge in pushing him away with his foot until he was laying on the bed, held back by a dirty boot on his lower stomach and a cloud of confusion. "I can't tell you much. Well, I could, but you wouldn't understand a word anyway, so I'm not bothering." He ignored Eren's little "Fuck you" and added, shrugging "We'll be out for around a week, though, so you'll better not be a pain in the ass."

"Put your smelly foot away from me" was Eren's response, when he finally gathered back his ability to think and talk accordingly (at least as much as he'd always been able to).

"You can't tell if it's smelly or not, I'm wearing boots."

"That's even worse. Put your muddy boot away from me."

"Who are you now, Captain Levi?" Jean remarked with a smirk, and that was all excuse Eren needed to kick the back of his knee, _hard_ , until Jean yelped and moved away. "Goddamit, what's wrong with you? I was just messing with you."

"Your damn sense of humor is fucked, you good-for-nothing dickhead" Eren snapped, getting up in a jolt and suddenly very aware of the unidentifiable stir boiling in his belly that made him want to hit Jean in a much more painful way that he'd ever done and probably ever would (and he never fought half-assed in normal day; when he stroke, he didn't hold back). He crushed some of the scattered papers in closed fists and breathed in as deeply as he was able to, waiting for the feeling to subside, although he didn't even know why it had risen in first place. Jean was being a dick, indeed, but that was nothing out of the ordinary, and he hadn't even been _that_ bad today, but something in Eren had just given up and now he was flooded in rage. Also, there was a tiny weeny part in him that was mourning for the loss of whatever kind of truce they had had for a while; he had thought it was the start of something, but there wasn't, it was plain impossible to be in good terms with Jean.

He must have agreed, or maybe something Eren said had instigated him somehow, because Jean's voice was no longer playful when he replied "Look who's talking about fucked sense of humor, the guy who slays fucking Titans for fun!"

"The fuck you've said?!" Eren cried out, eyes burning with tears of wrath. He always teared up when he was being passionate about something, and right then he was very passionate about ripping Jean's stupid hair out of his head.

"Oh, sorry, did I use too many syllables?" he asked sharply, a smug and absolutely obnoxious smile crossing his face. "You're gonna get killed out of sheer stupidity if you continue with that idiotic plan of revenge of yours!"

And then it was when Eren punched him, right on the face. His blow turned out to be a bit deflected to the side, his mind carelessly noticed, so it probably landed on his cheek instead of on his nose. It was good either way, and Eren was too pissed off to stay and watch the result of his magnificent fist power. He turned on his heels and ran out of the room, and it wasn't until he was middle way out the building when he noticed he still had his hands clenched and crushing Jean's papers. Barely slowing down his speed, he looked down at them and realised they were the maps and notes for the mission that the Commander had planned.

A thought swiftly formed in his mind: if he did the mission himself, he wouldn't have to stand Jean for an entire week, and Commander Erwin wouldn't have any real motives to scold him, since officially he would have done what it was asked from him, only that sooner and faster. And he really, really needed to get away. From Jean, from his stupidly confusing feelings for him, and from everybody telling him 'you could get along'. But especially from that little voice in his head, singing in a disgustingly hopeful tone 'he could understand you'.

Eren was a man to follow his instincts, so he changed the direction he was heading to the one that would get him to the stables, and once there, took his survival kit from the wall, jumped on his horse, and ran off.

Unfortunately, it didn't take him much to be aware of how thoughtfully he had screwed it up, just long enough to consider his absence wouldn't have gone unnoticed back there and that returning without been achieved his objective was absolutely impossible, so he settled for mumbling a "Damn it" and continuing riding towards the zone marked in the map.  
If he was getting Jean's handwriting right (and that would be an achievement in itself, since it was one of the most crappy and unreadable things he'd ever seen), he only had to ride for half a day before reaching it, and then he would have to follow the instructions to do whatever he was expected to. The problem was, they were written in some kind of gibberish from which Eren could understand just half of the words (what was _fleurs rosées au sommet, blanchâtres à la base_ anyway?), and half of that half was in scientific slang.

He was unfazed by the adversity, though (or so he wanted to believe), so he didn't make his horse stop until he had reached the supposedly Titans-free zone. By then, it was past his normal lunch hour, but the rumble of his stomach was quietened down by the sight before him. It was as wild as the nature could go in a relatively human controlled area, wildflowers flourishing all around in soft colors and trees going high into the sky. A gentle constant rumbling gave away the localization of a river nearby, which Eren took advantage of by letting the horse free to drink and eat whatever it wanted.

His surroundings were quiet and had a peace inspiring quality that made them perfect for Eren to get inmersed in his own thoughts. He had two extra curricular missions: work out why Jean found him so detestable and dig into his psique to understand why that bothered him so much. That was what he tried to do, at least, but the universe was having a hard time collaborating with him. First, he got so deep in thought that he let a rabbit he had found run away like three times, and by when he decided there wasn't even a point in losing time deciphering Jean's stupidly complicated mind and managed to catch the damn rabbit, he tripped with his own mind, which was playing tricks on him and trying to make him believe he actually wanted to be Jean's friend. Jean's something, Jean's whatever, he just wanted to know him, to pry him open and figure him out as if he were some complex machine with odd mechanisms everywhere (which he kind of was, actually). Dammnit, he was starting to resemble Hanji.

Cooking was a great way to take his mind out of things, fortunately, and an activity he had to do nevertheless. While he lit a fire and skinned the rabbit, there wasn't anything going on in his head, just white noise, calming and everpresent. A pity he had the worst luck ever seen in a human being, which granted that, when he returned from washing his hands clean at the river, Jean was there. And he had the guts to look pissed.

"The hell you're doing here?" Eren asked, with as much serenity as he could muster, staring up at the figure that jumped off the horse. Making a joke about that was tempting (Horseface riding a horse, there had to be some fantastic combinations with that pun), but the mood wasn't right and it would no doubt go unappreciated.

"Rescuing your sorry ass, that's what I'm doing! Fuck, Eren, what were you thinking? Were you even thinking _at all_?"

Inspecting him up close, Jean's left cheek was a bit redder and more swollen than the right one, so he was right about the whole 'fuck, the blow got the wrong objective' thing. Apparently, him ignoring his blabbering only got him more worked up, until his right cheek reached the left one in redness thanks to the rage. "I was thinking I might be able to avoid you, but now my plan's ruined. Thank you, shithead."

"Oh, pardon me for trying to prevent you being eaten by a bunch of fucking giant monsters! How in hell did you get to the conclusion that 'low Titan activity zone' meant 'let's go make a picnic in the middle of the daylight'?!"

"So you come here to ruin my awesome Jean free day with your ever grim presence and still find time to call me stupid? Screw you!"

"No, screw _you_! To think I lied to the damn Commander for you!"

That got Eren's attention right away. The words themselves were quite surprising, since Jean was known to be a selfish brat (in Levi's words) and nobody dared to lie to Erwin anyway, but it was Jean's expression which made them all better; he gasped quietly, as if he hadn't meant to let that slip by any means, and then pressed his lips very tightly together to stare at Eren with a stern face. If he hadn't known him, Eren could have thought he was embarrassed, but Jean being Jean, the best assumption was he was angry with himself for not thinking before speaking and angry with Eren for being Eren. One of Jean's superhuman abilities was to blame anyone at hand for something he was at fault; another was keeping a straight face while it.

"Why would you do that?" Eren finally decided to ask, wide-eyed. "And more importantly, how are you _alive_?"

"Dunno" Jean always got more casual when he was nervous, Eren noted. He shrugged, leaning on his horse. "He called me because Levi was making a fuss on how you hadn't presented to your cleaning duties or something, and I'd been on the stables before looking for you, so I remembered a survival kit was missing. Everything screamed 'Eren has done something incredibly stupid'." He rolled his eyes, making Eren quickly remember he was actually fucking angry with him, but had enough common sense to continue talking before he could do anything about it. "He asked me if I knew where you were, and I figured you'd be like in a shit lot of trouble if I said the truth, so I told him you'd gone to make sure everything was clear in the mission point before we went and took an unnecessary risk with the Legion materials."

"And it _worked_?" The Commander could spot a lie at kilometres of distance. Hell, he could recognize a lie even if it hadn't been one when uttered. He was like the Master of what was Sacred and True.

"Well, he did a little humming noise or some shit and basically told me I'd better go after you before you hurt yourself in a rather idiotic way. That's what I understood anyway." And there it was, that obnoxious smirk that was Jean's trademark, and yet Eren could hold back his fists this time. He had practically heard Jean's undertone, something that sounded like 'you worried me, you little shit, I thought you'd die'. Or maybe he was just making things up, but if it could give him a rest from all that arguing, it was all fine.

"So you risked losing a limb at Erwin and Levi's hands, or worse, being kicked out of the Legion, because you didn't want me to be punished?" Eren tilted his head and looked at Jean expectantly, but he was oh so very captivated by that bird on the tree above them he couldn't save up time to look back at him.

"When you say it that way, it sounds stupid" was his final response. He only met Eren's eyes when he added, smirking "I guess stupidity _is_ contagious after all. Must've been from all that fighting, I got too close and I caught your idiot germs."

Eren couldn't help but note he hadn't dismissed his previous statement, and that improved his mood with flying colors, to the point he actually bursted out, beaming "Perhaps we should stop fighting so much, then."

"...Perhaps" Jean accepted after a while, grinning.

From then on, it only got better. Well, as good as it could get with them; they were two very stubborn people, after all. Jean revived the fire while Eren made sure the stew was still fine, and then he cautiously handed him his papers.

"Oh, so that's where they went." Jean wore a mildly surprised expression, completely lacking anger, and the next thing he said was a playfully uttered "So, what are you making me for lunch?"

"What happened with your policy of 'not having picnics in the middle of the daylight'?"

"I just happen to have skipped lunch to go looking for some dickhead who wasn't even half grateful like he should have been. I think I can risk not giving a damn about rules for a while. You do that all the time and nothing has ever happened yet."

"Well, I've regrown some limbs" Eren reminded him, and received a soft kick on his knee for it. "Hey, I was trying to make a point here! I meant _you_ have a limited number of those."

"You should start worrying about your own well-being, Jäeger, I assure you mine's already covered" Jean grumbled, his face dimming even more when he saw Eren's little smirk. An unspoken truce was made when the stew was ready, but it didn't last much longer than the food itself did; Jean got into a more comfortable position, sitting with his back on a tree, to revise the papers with the mission objectives, and Eren simply laid on the grass and stared at the sky for a while. Soon, he was assaulted by the questions he'd been pushing down the whole day.

"Jean."

It was so rare for him to say the boy's name, he turned to him in an almost startled way and regarded him carefully. "Eren."

"What are your notes of the mission written in? The words are weird." He was aware of how childish he had sounded, and judging from how Jean smiled ever so slightly, he was too, but at least that got him a response.

"It's French. One of the languages that was lost when humanity found the walls and all that. Part of my family is French, apparently, so I was taught how to speak it and a bit how to write it. It's...  a souvenir from the past, I guess, a reminder of better times, and I didn't want to... forget it." He shut up completely after that, eyes still wandering by Eren's face in a manner that suggested he was expecting something.

"I wouldn't have wanted to, either, if I'd had the chance to learn my roots" he answered thoughtfully, and that seemed to have satisfied Jean as much as taken him by surprise. There was another pause, until Eren suddenly remembered what Jean had said before, the bit about him looking around the stables for him, him looking for him like he _cared_ , like he was actually worried about their fight. They were dancing on the edge of a knife, Eren knew that much, and he wasn't sure how much he could push before one of them fell and got inevitably hurt, but he mused that he could still push his luck a bit more.

"Jean."

"Eren?" his voice held an interrogating tone to it now, probably apprehensive of the change of dynamics the situation was making. He knew about the knife, he had to, and maybe he was as frightened as he was with it, but if they didn't try they would never know, and Eren wasn't okay with not knowing things.

"Are we friends?"

The pause was much longer this time, so much Eren got to think he'd fucked up for good, so much he began scrutinizing Jean's face in hopes of finding the answer by himself and kinda freaking out when he met an expression he could not read for how damn fast it was changing. He wondered if Jean himself knew the answer, if there was even an answer to that. Apparently, there was, or Jean had improvised one, for he finally replied, with false flippancy "Of course we are, jackass, why are you even asking that?"

"I wanted to know" Eren shrugged, rolling to his side to have a better look at him. "...Jean."

"Oh Wall Maria, not this again" Jean sighed dramatically, and Eren's smile matched his barely supressed one. "What is it now? I really hope you're not going to say some cheesy bullshit like 'oh, I'm sooo glad we aren't going to kill each other like everybody had predicted'."

"You have an odd image of what a cheesy line is" Eren laughed, and shook his head. "No, but... well, we're friends, right, so I was wondering..." He was wondering if there was any way for him to make Jean trust him, he was wondering if there was any way for him to stop thinking how his mind was like and reach his bare soul with his fingers instead. He was wondering if there was any way for him to hear him laugh in the carefree way he did when Eren wasn't around, or to be able to touch his hair like he sometimes got the need to, or hell, maybe even to get to take his hand or kiss him or some other things he didn't quite admit to himself yet he wanted to do but was almost sure he did.

"Yeah?" Jean called out for him and trapped him in the amused curve of his smile.

"I was wondering..." Eren continued, ears slightly red by his own thoughts. "I was wondering what your favourite color was." Jean seemed torn between bewilderment and endless fun, and Eren felt the need to explain himself further in an almost apologetical way. "It's a typical friends' question. I don't make the rules."

For a moment, a shadow passed by Jean's face, so fast Eren couldn't figure out what it was, only that it had left the boy reluctant to answer and, if the redness that had scattered across his nose was anything to go by, also a bit embarrassed. "I don't have a favourite color."

"Liar" he snorted, crawling closer to be able to punch his side, and if he happened to lean on the comfortable body next to him, well, that was just a side bonus. "Just tell me already."

Jean stared down at him, golden iris gleaming in an odd way when they met his, and Wall Rose be damned if that wasn't an almost fondness expression he was wearing. "I guess..." he mumbled, hesitance lacing his words, but at Eren's encouraging nod, he answered, slowly and tentatively. "I really like green."

And even if Eren noticed _his_ eyes were that color, the blush covering his ears and the stone-heavy feeling in his chest had nothing to do with it anyway.

 _My mind is made up,_  
_my feelings changed, and_  
_I’m coming home to you._  
_Every night, every night, every night, every night._

 _No matter, no matter,_  
_no matter what we’re facing._  
_It don’t matter, it don’t matter,_  
_’cause the reason that I’m here_  
_is the same through all these years._  
_Not changing, not changing anything at all._

* * *

**Bonus scenes:** (or 'things that weren't included in the fic because I'm just too damn lazy and this is pure crack')

 

"Why do you mean by 'give me those flowers over there'?" Eren asked, absolutely horrified. "You're turning cheesy! Like the _worst_ kind of cheesiness!"

"They're not for me, idiot!" Jean snapped, although he looked understandably shaken by the thought. Eren himself had been incredibly embarrassed by himself when he had realised what he had just said. "The damn Commander has sent us to pick up flowers like some kind of school girls!"

"What?! And you've noticed just now?"

"Hell, Hanji gave me the information, so I thought they'd be for some cool experiments to turn Titans into humans or something! She was laughing when she told me they were great for making tea, okay? I thought she was kidding!"

"We're in a mission to get flowers to _make tea_?" Eren was about to pass out, and not exactly from excitement.

"Well, now that I see them I believe they're supposed to be comestible, they might be a good side-dish" Jean cautiously observed, although it sounded a lot more like a question.

"Oh, great, so we're in a mission to get flowers to make tea _and_ contribute to dinner. Fantastic, just fantastic" he shouted, plucking out the little red flowers Jean had showed him before. "Do you realise these are going to end in Sasha's stomach?! Do you realise?!"

"You'll soon hope she was here to eat them first, though" Jean mumbled. "The Commander gave orders to try them, so you'll have to add them in the stew next time."

" _Fuck_."

 

"Hey, you guys are back!" was Marco's cheerful welcome. Jean looked ecstatic to see him; Eren, no so much, but since Armin, who was _his_ best friend, contentedly dragged Jean away to bug him with endless questions about their mission, he figured he could pay back by robbing Jean of Marco.

"Yeah, we're back. Thankfully."

"Was it that bad?" Marco asked, still smiling, while they walked to reach the other two.

"One of the worst weeks of my entire life" he answered solemnly. That hadn't been the case at all, but who said he couldn't have a streak for drama?

"So how were they?" Armin was saying right in that moment, a hand squeezing Jean's arm out of excitement. "I've read somewhere they're comestible, although I..."

"They _are_ comestible" Jean quickly interrupted him, and for how he gave Eren a crooked grin when he and Marco reached them, he knew he was going to say something that would make him want to hit him. "But the flavour is awful... or maybe that was Eren's cooking."

"My cooking is just fine, but you can’t expect me to turn shit into candy!" Eren yelled, which got him a nice chorus of laughs all around him.

"But either way" Armin insisted, fast to change the topic to avoid a very possible argument. "As I was saying, some seniors of the Legion told me about them. Apparently, they flourish near the river the recruits usually go swimming into when the weather's nice, so..."

"Wait!" Jean screamed. "You mean we'd been chosen to lose our time in a mission out in the wilds, in a place that's _oh so threatening_ and infested with Titans that the damn recruits are allowed to go swimming there in summer?!"

He looked like he was about to rip his hair out, and Armin didn't exactly fix it by commenting "I told you it had been just a set up from the Commander to get you two to stop throwing each other into the mud like some little kids."

"I think I'm gonna cry" Jean whispered, holding onto Marco like a lifeline.

Eren started considering very seriously to kill his best friend, and probably also the Commander if he found himself with enough time. Maybe later, when he wasn't so overpowered by the urge to burst into tears too.

**Author's Note:**

> The flower that is named in the fic is the Trifolium pratense o red clover, by the way, and the stuff said about it is all true (except the part of the terrible flavour, I haven't actually tried it).  
> Also, if you're still wondering who the hell opened the window at the start of the fic (if you're like me, you are), Sasha totally did it. That's her idea of a good morning joke. She told Connie later and they both cracked up, right after he punched her for getting him a cold that lasted him two weeks, that's it.
> 
> So this is part of a series for the Erejean Week 2015, and if you haven't noticed, the series name is part of some lyrics of a song that could be pretty much the fandom's hymn: "Battle Cry" (also by Imagine Dragons; absolute coincidence, I swear).  
> Just in case you feel interested, I'm handing you the lyrics:  
>  
> 
> _Just one more time before I go_  
>  _I’ll let you know_  
>  _That all this time_  
>  _I’ve been afraid_  
>  _Wouldn’t let it show_  
>  _Nobody can save me now, no_  
>  _Nobody can save me now_
> 
> _Stars are only visible in darkness_  
>  _Fear is ever-changing and evolving_  
>  _And I, I can poison the skies_  
>  _And I, I feel so alive_
> 
> _Nobody can save you now_  
>  _King is crown, it’s do or die_  
>  _Nobody can save you now_  
>  _The only sound_  
>  _It’s the battle cry_  
>  _It’s the battle cry_  
>  _It’s the battle cry_  
>  _Nobody can save you now_  
>  _It’s do or die_


End file.
